Feed Her Occasionally


Miaomiao will go to the kindergarten soon. But she still needs us to feed her at meal times everyday. Actually she can eat by herself with spoon, but she doesn’t like to eat by herself because she has been used to be fed by us.

Considering that her grandparents like to feed her, it would be hard for her to eat by herself in her grandparents’ home. So in order to let her eat well in the kindergarten soon, i decide to let her eat by herself since she leaves her grandparents’ home and returns to our home in Wuhan.

We came back to our home at nearly half past six in the afternoon the day before yesterday. As it was very late when we ate supper, so i still fed her as usual. She slept late and also got up late yesterday. I held her up and put her in her baby chair when it was time for breakfast. “Now eat your breakfast by yourself, Miaomiao.” I gave her spoon and spoke to her. “I don’t want to eat by myself, mom feed me.” She replied. “No, mom won’t feed you anymore. You need to eat by yourself from now on.” I told her. “No, mom feed me. I really don’t want to eat by myself.” She cried. “Kids like you all eat by theirselves in the kindergarten. So you need to try to eat by yourself now. Mom won’t feed you. I will take these food away if you don’t eat.” “I don’t want to go to the kindergarten, mom feed me.” She cried and tried to take my hand. But i didn’t hold the spoon. She cried much louder and continued to take my hand. “Mom feed me…i don’t want to eat by myself…really anxious…i grow smaller…really anxious…mom feed me…” Her crying continued. After a while, she asked me to hold her hand and she took the spoon and ate. “Mom feed me…grab the spoon…tighter…mom feed me…” I just put my hand on the back of her hand and let her eat by herself. After a while, i went away to fetch something when she stopped to cry. Then she started to eat by herself.

It was nearly the same when it was time for lunch. She cried for a while and asked me to take the spoon and feed her. At last i put my hand on the back of her hand again and she ate her lunch with her spoon. I read a book of kindergarten life for her in the afternoon and showed the kids eating their lunch by theirselves in the book. And then it was much better in the supper time. She ate her supper by herself and didn’t cry though she still required me to feed her at the beginning.

Then it’s today. I prepare the millet porridge and boiled potato blocks for breakfast as she wants. She eats a lot of boiled potato blocks and a bit millet porridge by herself, though very slow. I’m really very glad for her.

In our lunch time, she eats a lot of the stir fried chinese yam by herself at the beginning. When i ask her to eat the steamed egg custard, she asks me to feed her again. I refuse and she cries. “Mom feed me…really anxious…why did you become like this…really anxious…mom feed me…” She still says some words while she cries. This time i notice this sentence in her words “why did you become like this”. I feel bad and then i start to think if it’s too sudden to her to ask her to eat by herself in every meal times everyday. Because she was always fed by us till the day before yesterday. She is only three. She has came back to her grandparents’ home and spent with her grandparents and i for more than a month there. Then she returned to our home and spent most of the time with me. (Her dad goes to work early every morning and comes back at supper time every night.) She hasn’t adapted to the “new” environment yet and then she found mom didn’t feed her anymore. She cried but mom still didn’t feed her.

I feel a bit guilty. I neglect her feelings though i did for her. So i take the spoon and start to feed her the steamed egg custard. “So you can ask me to feed you occasionally, but you still need to eat by yourself most of the time, ok?” I ask her when she eats the steamed egg curstard on my legs. “Ok” Smile comes back on her face. Then i explain to her that i havn’t changed — I let her eat by herself just because i’m afraid she can’t eat well in the kindergarten if she doesn’t used to eat by herself at present. I don’t know if she understands or not. But i feel relaxed after i tell her that i can feed her occasionally.

Yes, don’t worry, and relax. Maybe i was really too anxious these two days.

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Tina Peng

Tina Peng, Miaomiao's mother, born in 1985, and give birth to Miaomiao in summer of 2013, love Miaomiao very much, and willing to record her tiny things in this blog.

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